i live in a world with very little physical detail. I am mostly thought and touch. 

I rarely “notice” what someone is wearing. Everything appears to me almost as a sensation. I just take in the overall sensation I get from it. The only real world I know that has the same sort of idea is “aura.” I don’t believe in the beliefs that are associated with auras and aura reading.

I am very easily overstimulated. Ask me something nonsensical, and I will get caught up in figuring it out. My body will be temporarily vulnerable as my mind processes. That’s gotten me into some trouble, particularly with men, so I’ve had to learn to shield myself more from it.

I think the overstimulation is related to the fact that I gather most information from sensations. My mind is always analyzing. If there is too much to analyze and reconcile, I become overwhelmed. A person’s body language, their tone of voice, the physical surroundings, my own emotions and thoughts, societal expectations. I am usually processing all of these things simultaneously. I want to know what the other person “wants.” I want to understand the moment as a whole. (Because, due to lots of things, I used to think my role in life was only to please others.)

There is one person I know who changes her appearance often. Many times, I don’t immediately recognize her as the person I know. Once I actually look at her, I see that she is her. But, I don’t actually focus much. I just take in the general shapes of people and objects. I am aware of my surroundings.

There are many times in which I don’t actually have words to use. I just have these sensations inside of me that don’t have words by which to be expressed–at least, not words that I know.

I am extremely aware of certain aspects and extremely oblivious of others. I tend to notice very minor details first and just general, wider details. Over time, I fill in many of the wider details–but only if I need them. I may never notice something I pass everyday simply because I don’t focus on it.

When I look at art, I don’t think about composition or style. I just simply focus. I take it in. I feel it. I spend hours in art galleries, feeling the pieces. If it’s a good art gallery, that is.

As I was walking to work the other day, I was looking at my surroundings and realized just how heavily I focus on the shapes of everything. Granted, shapes are very definite in the city.

Just to bolster this: my senior year of high school, we did a fun lab day of scent recognition. I failed almost all of them. I don’t have much scent recognition. In fact, I almost never notice scent unless I think about it. There are certain scents that stand out to me, though.

The more I like something, the more I want to touch it.


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